BE PATIENT (or: how I surrendered my plans again to my heavenly Father)

Today, the Lord told me something about patience. 

Because I’m going to take a lot of pictures in the future and because I started a new adventure (NYDEGGER STUDiuS: website, instagram), I want to take my photos and videos in a good, “professional looking” quality. Because the only camera I own is my iPhone 6 plus, 8mp, small sensor camera, I was thinking about and planning to buy a new mirrorless camera. Mirrorless cameras are perfect for my plans, because they offer amazing image quality in a small, lightweight package and use inter-changeable lenses, which open new worlds for the creative traveler. 
My weapon of choice finally was the Sony alpha a6000 with two lenses (16-50mm kit lens and Sony 50mm 1.8 prime lens) with many extras such as additional batteries, a case, storage cards… 
I added the 50mm because it is extraordinary in depth of field and in low light situations (two points that would really separate this from my current camera). The price on Amazon was 1400 $. For me, this really is a lot of money and I knew it would be a very big step. But I wanted my pictures and videos to look better than just the average “point and shoot” type of. The following days, I adjusted my choice and kind of found peace over the situation. Some days of prayer passed and I knew more and more that I was going to make the purchase. 

Today (literally before I pushed the last trigger of buying the camera) I was praying again and said to God: “If You really don’t want me to buy it, You have to tell me immediately. I thought I was on the stronger point. What could go wrong? The chances that He really tells me not to do something were very small to me. To my astonishment, He really spoke into my decision when I opened a random book (Ecclesiastes) at chapter 5. 

The scripture said that wealth doesn’t bring joy, possession doesn’t satisfy us. I was impressed but still not doing the step in trusting my Father completely. 
Later, I was praying again, because I really wanted to buy this camera today although I had a strange feeling about it. I opened a random book (Ephesians) again in chapter 5. In verse 18, I read that we should fill ourselves with the Holy Spirit instead of getting drunk on wine. Even though this already spoke to me, I wanted more confirmation:
So I opened again a random book at chapter 5. This time it was Deuteronomy 5. 

What could speak more precise into my life as the Ten Commandments? We have to honour the Lord as our only God. Especially verse 33 hit me: 
“Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.”
What do I have to do to prosper? Right: Obey the Lord! He told me over and over again that I can trust Him and that He will provide in the right time. I asked the Lord in my spirit: “Are you really sure?” I got no immediate answer and so I kind of hardened my heart again as Pharao did. I just couldn’t believe it. I asked myself questions: What would I do on outreach without a camera? Why doesn’t God allow me to do this? Deep in my heart I still knew that God was right. I just couldn’t let it go yet. 

It took me about half an hour and one scripture more to finally surrender. Again, I randomly opened Galatians and of course at chapter 5. 
Verse 24-25 say:
“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
Which scripture fits better to my problem than this? I have died my sinful desires and passions and let the Spirit lead my steps. Having the passion for photography and the desire to shoot good images isn’t per se sinful. But I knew I gave this “idol” way too much space and I didn’t worship God alone. I knew this wasn’t an accident. I’ve never had so many scriptures opened randomly (but every time chapter 5) speaking so clearly into my life. But God had to do it this way because He knew that this nut wouldn’t crack at the beginning.
He is so patient and later in the evening He challenged me through Psalm 37:7-9 and Psalm 27:14 to be patient and trust in Him. 
I finally agreed with my faithful Father and as a symbolic act I deleted my whole Amazon shopping cart.
Here I am, waiting for the LORD to do whatever He desires. I’m believing in miracles (again) and know that I have a Father who provides even in the “small” things of my life. 


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